We Can Be Comfortable
by only-some-loser
Summary: With Jack gone off on his long term op, Mac is gonna need someone else to talk to. Riley hopes that she can be that person. (Tag to 3x16, Lidar Rogues Duty)


**AN: This is a tag to 3x16, Lidar Rogues Duty. It picks up basically right where the episode left off. For the most part, I really enjoyed it! Aside from some nitpicking about Reese, since, even though I love him, if he and Mac are so close, we should have heard of him, of course. Sorry for the delay on the next chapter of Nature of the Beast. I had midterms last week and I'm on spring break now, so I'm really focusing on enjoying this time with my family. I'm uploading this from my phone, so I really hope it all works out lol. I hope you enjoy, and please leave a review!!!**

"Because of this breach of security, neither one of you can go home for the time being," Matty said, looking at Riley and Mac seriously. "You'll be staying with me. I already have agents securing all of your homes, including Jack's. He will be informed as soon as we can contact him. Bozer and Leanna are taking the opportunity for an impromptu couple's vacation, so that means only the two of you have to fight for the spare bed. Now get your butts moving and grab your go-bags. We're leaving." Matty took one more glance at them and then started walking. Riley and Mac made eye contact again, confusion on their faces, but started to follow her.

"For how long? We can't stay in your house forever," Mac pointed out, stopping at the junction of the hallway he and Riley would go down to their lockers, where they would get their bags. "A go-bag doesn't have quite enough for that."

"Yeah, and what am I supposed to tell my dad?" Riley added. "We're making some real progress and I don't really wanna have to lie to him if I can help it."

Matty turned to them and sighed. "I know this isn't ideal, but it's just what we have to do for now. I don't have a timeline so I can't give you one. You're gonna have to stay in my house until we get a handle on this. You know I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't essential to your safety." Matty pauses for a moment and made eye contact with both of them before continuing. "I will always do whatever I have to in order to protect you guys, and right now, that means you have to stay with me for a while. To protect Desi, I've ordered her to take some official time off. She's safer the less connected she is to you guys. But, on the DL, she'll be helping to figure out what's going on. I know you don't like this, but these are my orders, and you will follow them. Understood?"

Riley couldn't help but feel like she was being chastised by her mother at Matty's tone, and let her gaze fall to the ground as she and Mac muttered a "yes ma'am". A small glance over at Mac proved that he held the exact same posture as she did. The thought of Matty as Mac's mother made her smile. Mac hadn't had a mother since he was five years old. Thornton had been good to him, but she never had that motherly tone that Matty would take with him sometimes. Matty really was amazing for him. She saw how broken he was inside, and did everything she could to fix it, to be the mother he needed. They never talked about it, of course, but everyone saw it. Everyone knew it, and knew better than to say anything.

"Go on, you two. Go get your bags and let's go," Matty said with a gentle smile.

Five minutes later, then were in Matty's car and on their way to her house. Ten minutes later, then were walking through the doors and Matty was showing them to the guest room.

"Go ahead and fight over the bed, but you both will remain in this room, okay?" Matty said. "I want you guys to stay together until we get a handle on this. Safety in numbers and all that. Are you guys gonna be good, or do I need to stay and tuck you in?"

"Thanks, Matty, we're good," Mac replied with a fond shake of his head.

"Okay, I'll even make you breakfast in the morning," she finished with a smile, closing the door behind her.

"What a mom," Riley said before she could stop herself. She stopped breathing for a moment as she turned to see Mac's reaction. He had a sad smile on his face.

"Yeah," he quietly replied. "Yeah, she is." He let out a soft sigh before changing the subject in a much louder voice. "You can have the bed, I'll put some blankets on the floor." He smiled and moved to grab a pillow.

"No, you take the bed, you're the one who just got back from an op. You need better rest than I do. You might not be too beat up physically, but..." Riley trailed off before she allowed herself to finish the sentence. She knew Mac had been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster over the last day or two, and not having Jack there to help him certainly wasn't doing him any favors. Not for the first time, Riley wished Jack was still there with them, but not just so he could be there for Mac. She wanted to be able to be there for Mac too, but she needed to know how. Riley had never really been that good at the whole comforting thing, but she could always tell when someone needed it. And Mac needed it almost constantly. He had such a crappy childhood, and James was still wreaking havoc on his like now. The lack of affection he was shown during his formative years left him touch starved, and he still was. Of course, Mac was great at hiding it and pretending to be fine, but Riley knew he wasn't.

"I'm fine, Riley," he said with that smile he always had when he was trying to convince everyone - including himself - that he was fine. "Reese is okay, he's with his family, and everything is fine."

"But you thought for a long time that he wasn't, and thinking your friend is dead takes a toll on someone." Riley sat down on the bed and patted the space beside her. With a sigh, Mac joined her. "I know you were grieving inside, and no one was there for you."

"Desi was there-"

"But she's not Jack," Riley interjected. She took a breath and turned more towards Mac before she continued. "Desi's great, but she's not exactly warm, and she doesn't strike me as the type to want to be there for you." She sighed again. "You can't honestly tell me that Desi was there for you at all, that she even cared."

Mac's silence spoke volumes. He was looking down at his hands, which were resting in his lap. After a brief moment of hesitation, Riley took one of Mac's hands in hers, and started stroking the back with her thumb. She felt Mac instantly relax at the gentle touch. It took Riley a moment to calm herself down and focus on the subject at hand, instead of on the fact that his dirtbag father had left Mac so starved for human touch but so unwilling to ask for it.

"I thought she did, for a minute," Mac muttered. "She asked me all about Reese, then once I told her, she basically told me to shut up and get over it. She just wanted me to get it out of my system and keep my head in the game. But she was right, I mean, I needed to be focused, I needed to be able to get it together and get the job done so she was right to do that and-"

"And nothing," Riley interrupted with a gentle squeeze of Mac's hand. "It's okay to feel things, even on an op. You know that, Mac. Jack would tell you the same thing. Jack would be there for you and remind you that it's okay to grieve a bit."

"Well Jack's not here," Mac quickly replied, wearing fake smile.

"But I am," Riley stressed, leaning in slightly closer to Mac and grabbing his hand with both of hers this time. His hands were calloused, but held hers gently. People who didn't really know him wouldn't see it, but Mac wore his heart on his sleeve, and all of his actions reflected the love he had for their little family. He'd been hurt and betrayed and abandoned so many times in his life. He just needed someone to be there for him, and Riley planned to always be there. "I'm here now and I'm always here for you, Mac." She took another breath before she continued. "I know you've always been more comfortable with Jack than anyone else in the world, but while he's away, can you try to be more comfortable with me?" Mac looked up at her with hesitation. "I know that's not easy for you, but it's just not healthy for you to bottle everything up while he's away." It wasn't going to be easy to say what she needed to, but Mac had to know how much she cared about him, how much she wanted to be there like Jack was. "Jack is always there for you when your nightmares and PTSD get really bad, and I want to be there in the same way."

Mac finally looked up at her, his eyes big and blue and staring up at her like a puppy. "I can't ask you to do that. I can't ask anyone to do that."

"But you don't have to ask," Riley replied. "Mac, you're like a brother to me. I want to be there to just give you a hug when you need it, or stay with you in the night. This isn't something you should have to ask from anyone. I want to be there for you, and others should too. Just because you haven't had that in life before doesn't mean you can't have it now." Mac nodded, but didn't verbally reply. "So please, take the bed. You deserve it," she finished with a small smile and a squeeze of his hand.

"You know," Mac started in a small voice, not meeting Riley's eyes. "Sometimes, when things got really bad, Jack would just stay in the bed with me." He was speaking so quietly that Riley had to strain to hear him. "So if you want, if you don't think it would be too weird, we could always just share, you know, if you want. You don't have to, Jack just did it because it helped to remind me that someone was there, that I wasn't alone, that it wasn't real anymore. So you really don't have to-"

"Mac," Riley gently interjected to stop his rambling. "It's okay. I'll stay. Whenever you want, I'll stay." She leaned against his side and rested her head on his shoulder. Mac did the same, leaning into her and resting his head on hers, his hand still entwined with hers.

Five minutes later, Mac and Riley were cuddled up in blankets, a foot of space between them. They both slept more soundly than they had in a week.


End file.
